wondering

 

I tried to read across the theory of Generations by William Strauss and Neil Howe. Their study regarding my generation is not applicable, as is referring solely to the US inhabitants.

The social context for the X generation was completely different on the dark side of the Iron Curtain.

However, I can describe my path as Nomad, though not according to their definition: “A Nomad (or Reactive) generation is born during an Awakening, spends its rising adult years during an Unraveling, spends midlife during a Crisis, and spends old age in a new High.”

I was born during socialism, I grew up in fierce communism with all the shortcomings included: restrictions, fear, no heat, no hot water, no food, no cosmetics, no access to information or possibility to travel…

I couldn’t even dream of more than the bear necessity – and I still cherish my tub filled with hot water and scented foam like a divine ritual.

Times changed, I was a student and the chaos after the revolution was unraveling. The incipient, wrongly applied democracy with the few choices we began to have.

Step by step, I discovered the taste of cuisine, the feel of a good quality piece of clothing, the effect of a good face cream and most of all – the masterpiece that a SHOE can be.

Step by step I started traveling, exploring, discovering, learning…

Cities, differences, customs…

Music, movies, books…

Lovers, toys, sex pleasures  

Changing careers, changing tools & means of communication

 People, acquaintances, friends.

I changed my job and my house so many times, I don’t care to keep track…

Each year adds a new color in my chameleon palette.

Seldom I feel so tired of so frequent changes, but most of the time I enjoy it like a baby who gets new toys and contraptions to examine and play.

I’m not only a Nomad, I’m a Gemini to the bone – the spirit who is fueled by the continuum adjustment.

Looking back, I feel blessed to witness and be part of all these changes. And I feel very content that I kept my head above the troubled waters every time the wave hit.

A few days ago, I looked for some old pictures. You know what?

I’m looking at these images of a funny girl, with turned up nose and a little simian face. Than I look in the mirror and I find so little resemblance.

As now I am beautiful.