catology

birds of a feather…

Part of growing up and adapting to changes is doing some paperwork.

For this, I need various officials on the way.

First step: look for a notary. Great, found one in my building.

Enter, sit down. First sentence the lady notary says toward her assistant: “I don’t know what to do with Musette, she has no appetite lately… ”

Of course, this generates an entire flood of information and insights between two cat worshipers.

Second encounter: my barrister’s assistant comes by my parents for some papers. She calls me afterward.

I don’t understand a word she’s saying, but I recognize the cooing specific to a cat worshiper who just encountered a new specimen.

All I could get was “ragdoll” – all else was unintelligible excitement.

Okkkk, moving on.

Last evening I invited a neighbor to read the numbers on my water counters, as it seems I’m not able to understand how they work.

OMG, an old man, obviously blue collar melts and babbles baby talk meeting my cats. He wouldn’t leave.

He begged Wes to come out, but my dark devil was in his shy mood. He knew exactly how to pet a cat, ho to lure it close and receive the affectionate rubbing against the leg.

Also recently I found out that in my building there is also a firm that takes care of the FOURTEEN cats that reside in the parking space.

Every day they lay plastic plates and fill them with cat food. The hoards come from nowhere, feed and vanish.

So the mad cat lady that I am has a colorful company.

for the love of CAT

fluffy grouchy muse

 

 

canvas by Ghica

 

 

 

 

my precious

 

 

 

cat memories

 

 

As a child, I fell in love with a song… It was performed by a Romanian singer, whom I didn’t care for too much, but the song was mesmerizing…

 

I made my father listen to it, as I felt it’s too… elaborate to be an original Romanian creation but a cover from some symphonic piece. Yet my father couldn’t enlighten me at the time.

 

Decades later I heard it again, performed by almighty Barbara Streisand. So it was clear it’s not Romanian.

 

Just now, the mystery it’s solved. It’s the hit from the CATS musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber…

 

I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

[…]

 

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn’t give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

 

 

 

Kind of a New Year’s Resolution and a wishing well for everybody I cherish: make the best of what comes so it becomes a happy memory.

 

 

keep on your toes

 

I swear to God, best cartoon ever!

 

So many twists in the plot in just SIX minutes.

 

Unrivaled.

 

keep your eyes on the prize

 

 

Yesterday morning I had 3 funny encounters with animals and a story in the evening.

 

The first, a stray dog begged for food from a guy. The man was eating a fresh cheese cake, hot and burdened with vanilla aroma.

 

The merciful soul ripped a morsel and threw it to the dog. To both our amazement, the dog sniffed the fragrant doe and than started following the guy.

 

I translated his behavior in the following simple calculus: “why stop to one bite when this guy is so easy? Maybe I could turn him into taking me home. I would have fresh food every day and a steady shelter.”

 

The next dog was waiting patiently for the light to change with a bunch of humans. He was blond, shy and demure: “don’t mind me, I just wanna cross in peace and be on my way.” I KNOW he doesn’t know about the light.

 

But he knows he is safe crossing in that particular place where a bunch of humans wait.  He’s not the first dog I see who knows about the zebra crossing. It’s natural to adapt in such mad traffic.

 

And than, a complete change of attitude: your typical stray tomcat was shouting at people passing by. As opposed to the stray dogs, he wasn’t demure at all. He was making a LOUD point, demanding attention. His violent meowing sounded like:

 

HEY! DOWN HERE! ARE YOU DEAF, BLIND OR JUST PLAIN DUMB?! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M A CAT IN NEED OF FOOD & SHELTER?! I’M A CAT, YOU’RE HUMAN! WHAT’S YOUR PURPOSE BUT TO PLEASE ME?!

 

I remembered how I was adopted by my younger cats long ago…

 

Blondie was in front of a restaurant shouting immensely offended: “can’t you see how pretty I am?! It’s fucking COLD and I’m just a helpless pussy. Save meee! ” 

 

Wes who crossed an entire office building to stop and curl under my desk like a decision was taken and there was no point in debating further.

 

I’m a sucker for cattitude!

 

 

LOLCAT

 

A phenomenon I learned via Noper.

 

It supports my theory about cats taking over as benevolent dictators.

 

Attributing sarcastic observations to cats according to their expressions or stances is a zealous form of worshipping.

 

 

 

Go with the flow, accept your cat.

 

godfather

 

I was writing a few days ago about the techniques a cat uses to tame some innocent & unsuspecting humans.

 

OK, he was a real puss. He’s a dead ringer to my master Alf.

So his new name is Alfie. He’s the best trainer yet!

 

What he did in only one week with his human should appear in research books.

His personal back pack, his personal race track, a ruined dress…

 

And his male human is allergic to cats. He’s on medication.

 

How can u resist THIS:

 

 

and this is his beloved GODFATHER:

 

cats vs jazz II

 

A few years ago, I was watching an episode of The Osbournes. Ozzy was preparing for a tour and he was trying on a stage outfit.

 

It was black, but with frills and glitter. He was appalled by the idea:

 

“Sharon, I’m the fuckin’ Prince of Darkness!”

 

His reaction was so memorable that I must paraphrase it now: “I’m the fuckin Queen of Cats!”

 

On Sunday I was listening Janis Joplin. When I reached my favorite piece, I turned the volume as loud as I could bear.

 

Immediately my crew appeared from wherever they were stashed at the time. I never thought that Janis sounds like a horny cat on this piece… but… actually, come to think of it…

 

To complete the ruckus, I was singing along, though my voice is horrible, but, after all, this was the piece that turned me to jazz as a child. So I can’t imagine listening to it without screaming from the top of my lungs every fuckin’ words.

 

Believe me or not, my cats were ecstatic. They really love the sound of my voice. What choice would they have?

recruitment technique

 

 

He’s purring. He’s sweet. He’s behaving. He has wide eyes and fluffy fur. No claws, no teeth are in plain sight.

He looks like the perfect pet. Like a toy who needs food and shelter.

He’s curling in a ball and sleeping peacefully. Ooooh, isn’t he cute?

 

So u take him home. A handful of purring sweetness. He eats whatever u give him. He’s playing so nice with the toys u buy for him. He pees in the sandbox and nowhere else. He sleeps @ night and behaves during the day. He’s purrrfect.

 

U grow attached. So attached. U can’t STOP talking about him. U feel so lucky u found the purrfect cat! He’s waiting 4 u to come home – wide eyes and fluffy tail.

 

U don’t notice him taking over. Gently and with infinite patience. U can’t IMAGINE such a little helpless creature can be so devious.

 

At first comes “can I sleep in your bed? The floor is sooo cold L” Of course, sweety!

 

Than “hey, I’m sorry, the bathroom was occupied, I need my privacy.” You wipe the puddle hoping it’s an isolated incident.

 

The pot roast that u just took out from the oven looks FAR more appealing than his dish “why shouldn’t I have what u have? I don’t get it. All right, I’ll help myself.”

 

Hey! Move over! It’s MY BED.

 

I’ll scratch you so bad if u don’t obey my commands right NOW!

 

Faster! Feed me! Bring me! Assume position so I can sleep in your lap! WAKE UP! Let me sleep! Pet me! Don’t touch me!

 

And finally u realize u didn’t save a poor creature from extinction, but u were SELECTED and TRAINED by an evil genius to become the purrrfect slave!

 

And on top of everything else, u feel SOOO honored to be chosen for the position!  My, u’re blessed!