cinderella, keep lookin’

 

 

First, a thought that crossed my mind just now.

 

I rose from my chair and slipped my feet in my Missoni kitten heels. While stepping towards the water cooler, I realized they hurt. Badly.

 

And immediately I thought: men are like shoes – if they hurt you, dump them right away.

 

Which I actually do with both. No regrets.

 

BUT

 

This is not the object of this post.

 

I had the privilege to witness two beautiful love stories recently.

 

One is a man whose wife threw a surprise party. She sneaked and hid for almost a month to plan everything just right.

 

The reward was spectacular.

 

The man wept. You must understand he is a macho man, a misogynic pig… who adores his wife. And she adores him back.

 

He told me the following: “I didn’t cry at my wedding or when my two children were born. I cried two times in my life: when my mother died and tonight.”

 

 

Just to see them looking at each other restores my confidence in love. They are the most sappy cliché of lovey doveys after some years together & 2 children.

 

And the bitch can’t stop from adding: “like I was once with my ex…”

 

OK, maybe it’s not forever. But for now, it’s so wonderful.

 

***

 

Second story goes like this:

 

I am one of the few people who loves to go to the dentist. No, I’m not masochist. I am scared of dentist since forever. But I love this dentist in particular.

 

It’s a female doctor. Ageless for me – as I can’t appreciate people’s ages. Blonde, slim, always tanned, always caring, sweet, in a good mood…

 

She unfolded her love story accidentally one day. She met her husband in the first year of medical school. It was love at first sight. They stayed together. They got married. They tried to have children for 12 years, than they gave up. They were sure it would be just the two of them forever. Two years later, she got pregnant out of the blue.

Their child studies Economics in Boston today. They are together for 34 years and still love each other madly.

 

And the bitch asks herself: did any of them ever cheat? Did the other one find out but swallowed his pride and fought for his/ her soul mate? Did they ever have bad times when they thought of divorce?

 

We’ll never know, ‘cause I’ll never dare to ask.

Anyway, both stories are very beautiful and it helps when you feel like every man you meet is like a pair of shoes: you invest in something that seems worthy just to get hurt and disappointed sooner or later.

 

Are there any shoes for a lifetime of happiness?

 

busy bee

 

So much to do, so little time!

 

My flat is beginning to be shaped around my personality, but there’s still work to do.

back after leaving her 2 years ago, due to lack of time and money.

 

Now I’m hemorrhaging money all over. My phone bill was humongous because I called every fuckin’ real estate agency in the city + HOURS of bargaining with the cable company.

 

My nest needs a lot of items. I wonder when it will be over.

 

I must acquire some papers next week – hey! Surprise! They cost money!

 

The dentist? Don’t get me started!

 

And of course, I couldn’t resist the sales at Sisley and 2 pairs of shoes.

 

Actually it’s a pair of faded golden boots that caused one silk dress from Sisley and a pair of Giuseppe Zanotti stilettos that DEMANDED a body flattering light purple dress from the same.

 

I’m already on first names base with the sales ladies there. I think soon I’ll own some shares L.

 

I scrubbed, cleaned, screwed and unscrewed so much, my head is spinning, I have scales on my hands and bruises & scratches everywhere.

 

My car was impounded & I had to pay to get it back, it was a shitty evening with one highlight: my ex husband was a hero and surprisingly helpful and gentleman.

 

He reminded me of the good times when I could rely on him for anything.

 

I’ll prevail as I always do, I know that all this money I’m spending now will come back to me somehow, as usual.

 

But still, I’m al little worried about the full fledged recession. There are two options: either it will get worse, or it will get better. Who can tell?

 

Anyway, I keep feeling there are some good times ahead. Don’t know why. But I never felt this uplifted in YEARS.

 

end of the world as we know it

 

I always favored Terry Pratchett vision on the Apocalypse:

 

War as a cold lady in red, Famine as a famous nutritionist, Pestilence being replaced by Pollution due to the discovery of penicillin, and Death, the cat loving, dark humor character that features in every Discworld book.

 

And I try not to lose my patience with catastrophic scenarios about the world ending.

 

I was enthralled by the Obama campaign – more than daring, irreverent I would say – inducing the feeling he’s the Savior’s returning to Earth.

 

Americans need superheroes – is the only mythology they have. They don’t have Gods (well, according to Neil Gaiman, they do, but what does he know? He’s British), they have Superman and Green Lantern and Hellboy…

 

And now they have Obama, young, handsome, velvet voice, magnetic oration…

 

He has to protect America against the financial crisis. He will fight it and vanquish it like a true superhero. So there goes Famine, Obama is on it.

 

OK, now here comes Pestilence, in the shape of Swine flu. A continent lower, but still the New World.  And it began conquering territories at a faster rate than poverty.

 

11 people died in the point of origin and hundreds are under treatment. Airplanes stopped flying and news reporters have a lot to report.

 

World, you just relaxed a little ‘cause the Superhero gets the money.

Now you get to wonder what reaches you first? The disease or the vaccine?

 

And I have in mind that fabulous movie – Wag the Dog – and I wonder who the fuck is the screenwriter and the producer of all this perpetual panic we live in?

 

‘Cause I choose Terry instead any time!

 

sour eyes

 

Hey, long time, no bitchy entry! This blog becomes sappier and sappier!

 

I have some weird symptoms in my eyes. After two unsuccessful treatments, I thought a deeper analysis of my eyes would be required.

 

So I went to a posh clinic and got tortured by a huge doctor, as her assistant was busy elsewhere.

 

Tortured for 100 euros pisses me off terribly! They should pamper me and wipe my ass for this money! Fuckin’ thieves!

 

So I left my car there, as my eyes were burning in my head, dried and traumatized.

 

On the bright side – I can’t keep this entry bitchy all the way, what’s wrong with me – I was so sorry I didn’t have my camera today!

 

I saw a pretty damn good installation and a funny cat guarding a stander. Both great picture materials – so funny!

 

Tomorrow, if I’ll get my camera I’m certain nothing interesting would happen!

 

if I would be a fate…

 

… I would wish a new born to be sheltered from 7 sins:

 

Self sufficiency

Frustrations

Insecurities

Envy

Anger

Selfishness

linger in codependence or addiction of a vice or unsuitable partner

 

 

… and blessed with 7 persona:

 

Self indulgence

Appreciation of what one was gifted with

Be thankful for what one has

Ability to cherish beauty – let it be art, nature or animals

Ability to give and receive love

Ability to treasure friends

Recognition of one’s true colors.

 

 

THAN I can promise a beautiful life!

 

no, seriously

 

First there was…

 

 

than…

 

 

 

now…

 

 

They needed THREE movies for THIS???

 

 

Oh… come ON!

 

 

 

 

 

 

why it can’t work

 

Why do we still believe in happily ever after? Because we grew up with a lot of fairy tales.

 

Probably centuries ago they were closer to actual facts. But nowadays they are no more than fantasy.

 

Actually, following a time line, you might notice that even the famous story writers became a little skeptical from one century to another.

 

Two centuries ago, the Grimm Brothers were candid enough to narrate the same plot on each of their famous stories: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, Cinderella are all saved by their knight in shining armor.

 

Less than a century later, Andersen shows more restrain in this matter, as in the Snow Queen, the girl saves the boy.

 

Also, Lewis Carroll’s Alice saves herself, there’s no guy in the picture. This is closer to reality.

 

I think today Cinderella would ask the fairy godmother to turn the evil step mom & stepsisters into mice, and than she’ll go on looking for a proper Prince.

 

Because the Prince would not search for her. He would settle for the first available chick, even if she doesn’t have such small feet. But hey, at least she parties all night long, she doesn’t dump him at midnight!

 

Relationships that last for a lifetime are unicorns. Settle for a pony. Or the perfect Marc Jacobs bag.

 

Stop waiting for Prince Charming. He probably needs saving more than you do.

 

holiday season already

 

2nite I’m going to attend to a party. Naturally, I have nothing to wear.

 

As if my own pressure wouldn’t have been enough, the host asked me “did you get yourself a dress?”

 

Whaaaat?!

 

ideal man

 

choke me!

 

Another adaptation from the Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk hit the big screen last month.

 

Choke has Sam Rockwell playing a sex addict an compulsive wanker in the center of yet another dissection of consumerism, sex, addiction and pop culture, leaving blood and chaos in their wake.

 

I haven’t seen the movie yet, but it seems like the audience was warmed up by the TV series Californication, with David Duchovny – a real life sex addict playing a womanizer (I’m not clear on the difference…). Moreover, looks like a type cast…

 

Judge for yourself… Whoa… Déjà vu?